He Is My Inspiration on Medium
Why being in love is a good thing for a relationship blogger
Puppy love
As a teen, I cycled through several intense crushes ranging from a certain member of a boy band that was all the rage back then to the older brother of a dear friend.
Whatever the case, I’d be forever singing along to their songs, gushing over them to my friends and clinging to the passionate belief that once my ‘secret’ crush noticed me, they’d know then and there that we were meant to be together.
A heady combo indeed — the naivete of youth and hormones firing on all cylinders!
One would think as you mature that it would be a thing of the past but guess what? Crushes happen at all ages and with all kinds of people — from celebrity crushes to the blue eyed stranger you met on the train to writers you bump in your alter life as a blogger.
In my experience, however, developing a crush when you are a grown-ass woman is not exactly the same as when you were a teenager.
For one, it is embarrassing.
Or rather, you are driven to feel embarrassed for something you don’t have control over.
Is falling for a writer such a bad thing, I wonder?
Unless you are particularly averse to feel-good hormones then I don’t think so.
And particularly so for an introverted writer like me since I mostly live in my head and have a vivid imagination that spills over into my blogs. No surprise then that it takes but a seed to germinate into a full-blown narrative that can fuel page after page of writing.
Par for the course of a writer’s life, I would say.
Behind the Mask
Initially, when I used to receive compliments from readers on this platform, I wondered what it was they saw in me because there was nothing much on display except for eyes and a mask.
Later, I realized that they were responding to the personality showcased in the personal stories that I write. I am not exaggerating when I say I still blush when I read PMs and DMs as well as blog posts written by those who find my writing persona attractive.
But is this type of attraction rooted more in fantasy than reality?
In other words, when you are crushing on someone, are you creating an image of who you want them to be in your mind based on the visceral reaction you have to their words?
Or could it be something else entirely?
For example, we are drawn to certain songs not only because they strike a chord within us but also light up our limbic system, evoking emotions, memories, and longing for something that was or is beyond our grasp.
In the same way, the words of a writer can speak to you so deeply and their thought processes are so uncannily reflective of you that you immediately feel an affinity for them and can’t wait to read their next post.
A Medium Romance
Some readers know that I am happily in a new relationship. What might not be common knowledge is that my partner is a poet on Medium.
It comes as no surprise that our shared love for writing played an integral role in bringing us together.
Yes, he won me over with patience, tenderness, and unwavering persistence. And his poetry, oh my!
His words unlocked a part of my brain that has secretly sought inspiration to channel my creative energies into the world of romance and love.
I realized then that I had found my muse — a catalyst that not only helped me break free from overthinking what I wanted to write but also from letting those pesky filters automatically fall in place where feelings are concerned.
Columnist Heather Havrilesky has something to say about this which I find to be very interesting: “Sometimes it almost feels like your body wants your rational mind to listen to its irrational, erratic rhythms for a change… because in a way, our feelings and our bodies are looking for some way to break through our layers and layers of intellectualizing.”
By welcoming these feelings into my mind space, soaking them in, and processing them, I am able to channel the beautiful energy radiating from them into words.
The result? Undoubtedly the best writing I have ever done.
🎈This post originally appeared on Medium. If you enjoyed reading this, do check out my other posts on Medium.
How sweet and romantic!
I love that a writer has captured you. This must be a bottomless fountain of energy through words. A fountain you feed with each other. Excellent read Yana. Thank you!